Alcoholism: When is it Time to Hold an Intervention? Follow These 8 Steps to Make it as Successful as Possible.

Are you worried someone you love may be suffering from alcoholism?

Are your feelings of hopelessness, fear for their safety, and helplessness of the overall situation keeping you up at night?

Maybe you’re thinking of having that talk with them soon. Their friends are worried.

You’re worried.

A person who is combating alcoholism is fighting their brain. A brain that has been physically altered by their chronic use, therefore, functions differently than someone who doesn’t suffer from that dependency.

To them, there is no “just one drink”. That one drink will send them down a rabbit hole that’s beyond hard to climb back out of.

How does one come to have such an addiction?

When an individual drinks alcohol, the chemical dopamine is released into their brain. This chemical gives their pleasure center a boost when presented with a certain person, substance, or thing; making that individual seek it out in the future. Similar to what it would do if you spend time with your family, or eat that ice cream. It reinforces it as a reward, something you may even crave later on.

There has been lots of research on alcoholism, and why some people are more prone to suffer from it and others, not. For some individuals, it runs in their family making them more predisposed to it genetically. Some people may have gone through trauma, or feel trapped in a stressful situation which leads them to drink. Others saw their parents drink at an early age, and therefore they mirror what they saw. It’s common for those that suffer from depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety to turn to alcohol as well, as it relieves some of those anxious symptoms for a short time. Some individuals experience a great deal of pain, physical and/or mental, that leads them to drink.

Alcoholism and its effects are already scary enough to think about, but when you add in social isolation because of COVID, it can turn dangerous and deadly very fast. During turbulent times, it’s easy and very common to lean on alcohol to help pass time or forget your worries, fears, and responsibilities. It allows people to suffer behind closed doors.

For something that is so socially acceptable, it can be challenging to know the difference between drinking on occasion and suffering from alcoholism, especially if you’ve never seen it before. To give you a sense of someone who would be an alcoholic, I’ve listed some criteria that they would need to hit below. (Keep in mind, an individual only needs three of these symptoms to be considered as someone who has an alcohol problem.)

• Spending most of their time either drinking or recovering from a hangover.
• Experiencing strong cravings for drinking.
• Not being able to cut back on their usage, regardless of them wanting to.
• Continuing their use, even after it causes psychological or physical issues within their family, friendships, or work.
• Unable to uphold their commitments with family, friends, or work.
• No longer enjoying the social aspect of life. Hanging out with friends or family isn’t enjoyable to them anymore.
• Having a high tolerance, leading them to drink larger amounts than others would.
• If they don’t have access to alcohol, they may start developing symptoms of withdrawal.

It can be scary and intimidating to think about having a conversation about your loved ones’ drinking habits. It’s important to acknowledge that no one can truly change unless they want to. You cannot change their habits or their mind, but you can tell them the concerns you may have in a way that makes them take a step back and see more clearly.

In order to have this conversation, there is some preparation needed on your end.

Below, I’ve listed some steps to take in order to bring more success to this challenging conversation.

1. Research- You will need to research as much as you can so you have facts about alcoholism, signs, its symptoms, and the effects it can have on relationships, ready to go. You want to make sure that this is a subject that you have at least some knowledge of. The more knowledge you have, the more confident your approach will be.
2. Make sure it’s the right timing- Typically if they have an alcohol problem, you will want to avoid mornings. Hangovers don’t feel good, and when you’re trying to host a serious conversation with someone who doesn’t feel good- the conversation may go about as good as they feel. Try and catch them when they’re sober and feeling more clear-headed.
3. Have the right people around- This is paramount in leading a successful, sensitive discussion. Individuals that they look up to, admire or hold in high respect. Individuals that can stay calm, compassionate, and focused if tensions arise. Those are the people you want in the room with you.
4. Focus on the results- explain to them how their habits are affecting their own health, wellbeing, and how it’s affecting the relationships around them. Tell them your worries when it comes to their overall health. Your worries about how it’s affecting their day to day life. How it’s affecting those around them. Ask them how their ideal life would be, and if their habit is supporting it.
5. Expect some pushback- Alcoholism is deeply personal. It’s a disease that changes their thinking, processing, and decision making. It’s normal for them to get defensive, or to deny that there is a problem in the first place. It’s also common for individuals that feel like they’re being attacked, to say ugly and mean things that aren’t true. Your goal is to plant the seed in a warm and compassionate way, to make them THINK about it.
6. Prepare a plan- Your loved one may surprise you and feel ready and even relieved to get help. Make sure to have a plan ready in case this is their reaction. Have a list of local AA meetings, a list of counselors that work with their insurance, and a list of local treatment centers. Offering them a ride can be a great source of accountability too.
7. Seek support for yourself- It’s really easy to internalize tough conversations after they’re finished. It’s also incredibly common to slip on that slippery slope of codependency when having to deal with a person with an addictive personality. Now is the time to stop covering up for them, making excuses for them, and take a step back. By seeking out a trusted friend, counselor, or support group, you can reclaim your happiness and have your concerns validated. Keeping yourself healthy is your number one goal.
8. Stay connected with them- Encourage hobbies and healthy relationships/ friendships that allow them to do things away from the bar scene. Offer to go on a hike with them or host a game night.

If you are worried that they are going to hurt themselves, you may want to think about getting in contact with a helpline. I have listed some facilities below that can point you in the right direction:

• Addiction Center
• SAMHSA Mental Health and Substance Abuse Service Administration
• Advanced Recovery Solution

When the time comes to have this conversation with your loved one, remember to take a deep breath. It can be incredibly unnerving and overwhelming when you come to the decision to speak with them. You’re worried, and you have every right to feel that way. Be gentle with yourself. Practice compassion for both yourself and your loved one and remember to take it one day at a time.

For more stories like this, check out the blog on my website: https://www.dynamicduocopy.com/